The Latest Lost in Suburbia Column: What Not to Wear When You’re a Mom Tue, 18 Feb 2014 16:19:33 +0000 "What d'ya think?" I asked my daughter, proudly displaying my freshly manicured hands.

blue nails2"Think of what?" she asked without looking up from her phone. [...]]]> How to Give a Dog a Bath Mon, 17 Feb 2014 15:47:27 +0000 dirty-dog-copyWhen the dog starts to smell like Eau de Garbage, his breath is bad enough to peel paint off the walls, and people think he is a brown dog when really he is white, I know it's time to give him a bath. [...]]]> Forget the Fox… What Does the Groundhog Say? Mon, 03 Feb 2014 15:29:50 +0000 groundhog bite mePhil and The General are messing with me.

Punxatawny Phil says we are going to have six more weeks of winter.  But General Beauregard Lee of Georgia predicts an [...]]]> Top Ten Things to do When You Realize You Forgot to Shop for Dinner Wed, 29 Jan 2014 17:21:33 +0000 Canned Chicken 000Forgot to food shop?  No time to make a fancy meal? No problem!

You probably have everything you need for a healthy, delicious, quick dinner right in [...]]]> Lost in Suburbia Story of the Week: The Sheer Terror Plan For Reviving A Dying Career by Norine Dworkin-McDaniel Mon, 27 Jan 2014 18:29:03 +0000 (My friend Norine is celebrating a birthday this month. She’s one.  Actually her hilarious website is one, but she still gets to eat cake.  I wanted to share her Lost in Suburbia story about how she made something really cool out of a stinky situation! – Tracy)

horror-movie-poster When Peanut Butter and Jelly Vandals Attack Tue, 21 Jan 2014 19:46:58 +0000 "Did someone throw a Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwich at my car?" I asked. 

PB&JMy husband and kids just stared at me.

"There is Peanut Butter and Jelly on the side of my car," I explained. [...]]]> Hibernating in the Man Cave Wed, 15 Jan 2014 20:09:49 +0000 "Joe got a Man Cave," said my husband, referring to a friend of ours who, apparently, had become a Neantherthal.

Poster_of_the_movie_The_Neanderthal_Man The Decaffeination of Ms. Tracy Beckerman Tue, 07 Jan 2014 17:01:15 +0000 coffe cartoonI love coffee.  I have always loved coffee. 

When I was a kid I would have a big cup of sugared-up coffee every morning with my parents before school.  [...]]]> And the Winner of the Bathrobe Contest is… Sun, 29 Dec 2013 13:51:24 +0000 A week or so before Christmas, I invited all my readers to show me their bathrobes. IMG_1373B Lost in Suburbia holiday giveaway

Now that Thanksgivukkah is behind us, it’s time to focus on ChristmaKwanzaToysRusaka.  What does that mean?  Heck do I know. I just like [...]]]> Our 2013 Family Holiday Newsletter Tue, 03 Dec 2013 18:24:17 +0000 Golden-Christmas-Frame-1318728

Dear Friends and Family,

Yes, it is that time of year again.  I'm so happy [...]]]> I’m Glad I’m Not a Turkey (at least in the poultry sense of the word) Mon, 25 Nov 2013 15:03:41 +0000 In honor of No Shave November, I thought this would be an appropriate topic to bring up.

1-BeardedLady-600As I got to that "certain age," [...]]]> The New Ten-ish Commandments Mon, 18 Nov 2013 14:38:23 +0000 I recently saw a reshowing of Cecil B. DeMille's classic film, The Ten Commandments.

MV5BMjE0MTg5MTI3OF5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwODE5MzMzMQ@@._V1. [...]]]></description>
	</item>	<item>
		<title>Top Ten Guests to Dis-invite from Thanksgiving this year.</title>
		<pubDate>Fri, 15 Nov 2013 20:13:36 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink= If you’ve noticed all those chocolate turkeys starting to show up in the grocery story, you must have realized that Thanksgiving is right around the corner.

Turkey Muffin Top: A Love Story Wed, 13 Nov 2013 12:57:33 +0000 muffintoplogo1Note: Today I’m doing something on my blog I almost never do (and I promise it’s PG-rated)… I’ve invited my friend Cathryn Michon to guest post about her amazing new movie, [...]]]> The Official “Are You Lost in Suburbia?” Quiz Mon, 11 Nov 2013 12:15:33 +0000 MINIVAN

People often ask me, "How did you know you were lost in suburbia?"

I tell them there are varying degrees of being Lost in Suburbia and you don't even [...]]]> All Things Being Equinox Sat, 09 Nov 2013 20:22:46 +0000 mcdonalds-ffTHIS TIME LAST YEAR…

I was starting to plan the marketing for my new book when my publicist took my hand, stared me in the eye, and said,

Top 5 Tips to Avoid the Big, Fat Halloween Weight Gain Thu, 31 Oct 2013 18:15:17 +0000 There were many years when we would spend the whole month of October, and sometimes, even some of September, planning out my kids' costumes for Halloween.

1382345_10153437737705354_2050774568_n I was recently invited to contribute a vlog post to Working Mother Magazine.

Working-Mother-October-November-2013 (Anna is the latest winner of the Lost in Suburbia Stories campaign. She will receive a free copy of my book, “Lost in Suburbia: A Momoir,” and a gift basket from Mondays are usually all, “ugh,” “really,” “is it that day again?”  

WCTCBut today I got a chance to [...]]]> Martha Stewart and the Case of the Not-So-Expert Food Blogger Fri, 18 Oct 2013 13:54:36 +0000 Martha103994PR_027_4I recently stopped by a friend's house for a cup of coffee. She's a mom, like me, and a fantastic cook… not like me.

She always has [...]]]> An Open Letter to My Ovaries Thu, 17 Oct 2013 15:05:28 +0000 Dear Jezebel and Medusa,

uterusI thought it was time I wrote you, my dear ovaries, a letter. Word on the street has it that you are not happy [...]]]> Redefining my Identity by Thien-Kim Wed, 16 Oct 2013 18:19:23 +0000 (Thien-Kim is the latest winner of the Lost in Suburbia Stories campaign. She will receive a free copy of my book, “Lost in Suburbia: A Momoir,” and a gift basket from Screen Shot 2013-10-15 at 10.42.13 AM"The squirrel's ate my pumpkins," I moaned to my husband.

"Is that a secret code for something?" he [...]]]> “Lost: My Mind. Reward if Found” by Jennifer M. Mon, 07 Oct 2013 12:59:05 +0000 lostinsuburbiablog (Jennifer M. is the latest winner of the Lost in Suburbia Stories campaign. She will receive a free copy of my book, “Lost in Suburbia: A Momoir,” and a gift basket from (This week I was thrilled to contribute to a new site called Dot Complicated!  It is an online community created by Randi Zuckerberg aimed at "untangling" our modern, wired lives.  Please click over to check out my post, and while you’re there, sign up for [...]]]> Lost in Suburbia Stories: “It Takes a Village” by Vikki C. Mon, 30 Sep 2013 18:20:13 +0000 lostinsuburbiablog (Vikki C. is the latest winner of the Lost in Suburbia Stories campaign. She will receive a free copy of my book, “Lost in Suburbia: A Momoir,” and a gift basked from school crossingPinch me, but I think this was the first week the kids had an entire week of school without a break since school started.

Knowing that we have a Columbus Day break coming up, [...]]]> Top Ten Things to do at Back to School Night Wed, 25 Sep 2013 13:38:32 +0000 lostinsuburbiablog Last night was Back to School Night at my kids’ school.  

teacherWhen my kids first started school, I loved going to Back to School Night. I loved meeting the teachers, [...]]]> The Accidental Mother By Tracey M. Fri, 20 Sep 2013 18:05:22 +0000 lostinsuburbiablog This week I launched the new “Are You Lost in Suburbia?” community over on my sister site, Lost in Suburbia stories.  I invited women to share THEIR stories about being lost in motherhood and how they found or are finding their way to the other side.  Every week, I’m selecting one story to be featured here on the main blog. Today [...]]]> Announcing the New “Are You Lost in Suburbia?” Community! Tue, 10 Sep 2013 17:59:14 +0000 lostinsuburbiablog When I first got pregnant, I had visions of a beautifully kept home, perfectly prepared meals, and adoring children who slept all night.

AreYouLost-07 Singing gorillas

I know I write a lot of hyperbolic, self-deprecating posts, 

but in this case it’s [...]]]> Application for your Child to be Friends with our Child Wed, 04 Sep 2013 18:54:03 +0000 lostinsuburbiablog Thank you for your interest in applying for friendship!

Our children met on the school playground and seem to like each other.  We would love to encourage this budding friendship but require some additional information to ensure the match is a suitable one.  We hold our child's friends to the highest standards, or more accurately, we hold their parents to the highest income [...]]]> A Dirt Bath Here, a Dirt Bath There, and a Couple of La Di Das. Thu, 29 Aug 2013 22:03:15 +0000 lostinsuburbiablog Mr. Bubble Vintage AdWhen my kids were little, it often seemed that their purpose in life was to get as absolutely disgustingly dirty as was humanly possible. They achieved this in a number [...]]]> 2 Kids – 1 Kid = Less Work? Tue, 27 Aug 2013 14:11:25 +0000 lostinsuburbiablog Somehow I thought things would be easier once my son left for college.

Monty and dishwasher2It was a simple mathematical equation:

2 kids [...]]]> Diary of a Sad Housewife Fri, 23 Aug 2013 20:22:03 +0000 lostinsuburbiablog Sad housewifeThey say you spend 18 years preparing your child for the day he or she will leave the nest.  That’s all very well and good. But who is supposed to prepare YOU for the day your child leaves the nest?

We [...]]]> I’m Having a Bad Day But I Won’t tell You Why Tue, 13 Aug 2013 13:15:21 +0000 lostinsuburbiablog Sad womanI recently wrote about getting blocked on Facebook and the emotional distress this caused me, or to [...]]]> A Letter of Gratitude to Anthony Weiner Wed, 31 Jul 2013 18:10:12 +0000 lostinsuburbiablog Screen Shot 2013-07-31 at 4.10.46 PM

Dear Mr. Weiner,

I know you're very busy trying to keep your When you’re visiting Chicago, there is really only one thing you absolutely need to do. You have to go out for Cheese, Wine and Swine.

Screen Shot 2013-07-30 at 6.21.44 PM My blogger posse in Chicago

My blogger posse in Chicago


I [...]]]> The Problem with Parenting Studies Wed, 24 Jul 2013 18:10:26 +0000 lostinsuburbiablog Toddler on cell phoneWhen I was little, my mother would often let me watch TV for a short time while she did the laundry, cleaned the house, or cooked a meal. [...]]]> You’ve Been Blocked! Fri, 19 Jul 2013 19:03:37 +0000 lostinsuburbiablog crying wont help you

I've been blocked on Facebook… again.

When I say, again, I don't mean to make it sound like it's something that happens all the [...]]]> How to Paint a House in New Jersey While You Are in Iceland Wed, 10 Jul 2013 12:10:23 +0000 lostinsuburbiablog 20130701_032807 copy

In the midst of my husband’s 50th birthday celebration, my daughter’s sweet 16, my son’s graduation from high school, and a trip to Iceland, we decided to have [...]]]>
A Nip-Nip Here, A Tuck-Tuck There and a Couple of La Di Das… Wed, 26 Jun 2013 00:15:13 +0000 lostinsuburbiablog vintage-ad

As a columnist/blogger, I'm used to getting PR pitches for products, authors, and experts looking for some exposure on my blog. The pitches run from the mundane to the somewhat outrageous. Yet nothing in my pitch-receiving past prepared me for the [...]]]> New on Huffington Post Parents: The Son Also Rises Mon, 17 Jun 2013 18:15:15 +0000 lostinsuburbiablog Holding moms fingersI’ve heard it said that that the first man you fall in love with is your father.

The second man you fall in love with is your husband.

The third is your son.

My son [...]]]> Won’t Ya Let Me Take You On a Sea Cruise? Fri, 14 Jun 2013 14:22:58 +0000 lostinsuburbiablog MP900227556 copyI love fireworks! Especially Fourth of July fireworks!

I haven't missed Fourth of July fireworks in almost 16 years… since the day my daughter was born

… on the [...]]]> Old Spelled Backward is Dlo. That Doesn’t Mean Anything, But it Seems Profound. Thu, 13 Jun 2013 18:15:14 +0000 lostinsuburbiablog old ladyThere’s something about calling yourself middle-aged that sounds like a dirty word. However, by the time you’re in your 40′s, no matter how hold your kids are or how 20130609_120525_resizedI was having a lovely sunday, the first time in two months I’d actually stopped and relaxed. The sun was shining, the birds were singing,

and the [...]]]>
From Lost in Suburbia to Lost in TV Land Mon, 03 Jun 2013 03:15:35 +0000 lostinsuburbiablog Screen Shot 2013-05-20 at 12.43.01 PMA lot of people have been asking me for links to the TV appearances I did on my book tour, so I thought it made sense to put them all in one [...]]]> Can You Hear Me Now? Yes, EVERYONE Can Hear You! Wed, 29 May 2013 12:15:58 +0000 lostinsuburbiablog Stacey Ferguson of Blogalicious and Lara DiPaola of Chicken Nuggets of Wisdom at the Bethesda Book and Blow Dry Party

Stacey Ferguson of Blogalicious [...]]]> Mom Jeans, Minivans, and Vibrators, Oh My! Tue, 21 May 2013 21:18:12 +0000 lostinsuburbiablog Screen Shot 2013-05-20 at 12.44.15 PMWhen you are going on TV to promote your book, you expect that you will be talking about… As I write this blog, I'm sitting on a plane headed home from Chicago. This was the last stop on my Lost in Our Nation’s Capital Tue, 14 May 2013 14:01:14 +0000 lostinsuburbiablog LTYM picI hope everyone had a great Mother’s Day yesterday and no one got a vacuum cleaner as a gift (unless it was a really good vacuum cleaner).

I got breakfast in bed, lots of hugs, and the chance to be on stage with 19 [...]]]> Lost in Los Angeles Sat, 11 May 2013 12:16:55 +0000 lostinsuburbiablog Good DayThe next stop on my Lost in Suburbia “Six City Cool Mom Book and Blow Dry Bar Tour” was Los Angeles. But before I could fly out there, I had an [...]]]> Hot-lanta!! Sun, 05 May 2013 05:01:43 +0000 lostinsuburbiablog Heather's cupcakesWhen last we left off, I had just wrapped up my book tour stop in Charlottte. We barely had time to bask in the afterglow of a major cupcake binge, when [...]]]> Here’s How They Party in Charlotte!! Wed, 01 May 2013 01:23:22 +0000 lostinsuburbiablog This one I can’t blame on the dog.

Yes, he was with me when I went for a run, turned my ankle on some big old rusty bolt in the street, fell down and broke my thumb, but it wasn’t his fault. 20130501_182510 The Third TIme’s the Charm Wed, 24 Apr 2013 12:20:36 +0000 lostinsuburbiablog Monty and book copyI’m not the sharpest knife in the drawer. I think it might have to do with those brain cells I lost in childbirth. [...]]]> The 1st Ever Lost in Suburbia Cool Mom Book and Blow Dry Bar Tour: First Stop NYC!! Thu, 18 Apr 2013 18:20:15 +0000 lostinsuburbiablog party 1Last night was the big NYC kick off for my six city Lost in Suburbia “Cool Mom Book and Blow Dry Bar Tour.” About 50 women joined me at the fabulous Fix [...]]]> The Dog is Out to Ruin Me Mon, 15 Apr 2013 15:12:54 +0000 lostinsuburbiablog If you read my post last week about my phone call with The Today Show, then you know how the dog chose that exact moment to interrupt my call and pee all over the floor. Then when I tired to clean up the mess while still on the call, I managed to throw my phone across the room and hang up on The Today Show.

Well, you know that [...]]]> Book Events and Massive Thunderstorms are Not a Good Combination Thu, 11 Apr 2013 12:25:26 +0000 lostinsuburbiablog So last night I abandoned my husband, the kids, and the dog-who-shall-not-be-named (to find out why the dog is in the dog house, check out my last blog post) and went to Ridgewood NJ for two great events at Bookends bookstore. A lot of people ask me how I’m always able to find the humor in situations that do not, at first glance, seem so humorous. My answer is that I can’t. Not right away, anyway. Sometimes it takes a little while and some distance to see how funny something is.

For instance yesterday I had a pre-interview on the phone with The Today Show producers for the [...]]]> Here’s Why You Should Never Think You’re “All That” Fri, 05 Apr 2013 12:20:31 +0000 lostinsuburbiablog mom crossing

This morning I had an appearance on the a.m. talk show “Live From the Couch,” which airs on WLNY TV55 in New York and Connecticut. Since I was going on to talk [...]]]> And The Lost in Suburbia Fun Continues… Thu, 04 Apr 2013 12:20:13 +0000 lostinsuburbiablog HenryandMonty copyThe dog is trying to eat the chinchilla.

No, that is not a euphemism for something. He really wants to chow down on chinchilla. The chinchilla actually predates the dog and had [...]]]>
The Day After the Book Launch Wed, 03 Apr 2013 12:20:13 +0000 lostinsuburbiablog day2Is it Wednesday yet? WOW! That was quite a day yesterday! Yesterday “Lost in Suburbia: A Momoir” hit the shelves and [...]]]> “Lost in Suburbia: A Momoir” is Here!! Tue, 02 Apr 2013 12:20:16 +0000 lostinsuburbiablog FINAL Book Cover copyTODAY IS THE DAY!

Please help me welcome the arrival of my bouncing baby book.

I [...]]]>
It’s Almost Time to Ditch Your Mom Jeans and Get Ready to Get Your Cool Back! Sat, 30 Mar 2013 00:20:06 +0000 lostinsuburbiablog The “Lost in Suburbia” book launch is just around the corner and we’re kicking it off

with a big TWITTER PARTY next Tuesday when the book comes out! vintage bus

The book launch is just a week away and it’s getting really busy around here! I finally have a (mostly) complete book tour scheduled… or at least some dates and cities on hold! I’ll be filling in the [...]]]> One Mom, Two Moms, Young Moms, Blue Moms Mon, 25 Mar 2013 18:20:08 +0000 lostinsuburbiablog Lost in Suburbia Tired MomWhen you're a mom, you don't really think about what demographic you fall into until you suddenly [...]]]> The Latest Lost in Suburbia Column: The Mom Did it, In the Kitchen, with a Microwave Fri, 22 Mar 2013 22:17:27 +0000 lostinsuburbiablog Screen Shot 2013-03-22 at 12.53.34 PM

Usually when one of our appliances dies, we get some kind of warning. When the dishwasher went, it started flooding. When the [...]]]>